Exodus 1-19

I’m back! I hadn’t forgotten about my project; I was just absorbed in some personal issues that left no room for reflection. Given my delay, I’ll probably condense a few books so I don’t write too far into 2014. And so onward with a new book! Sadly, this will be the last narrative passage I’ll read for a while…

I can’t read Exodus without thinking of the Dreamworks picture, “Prince of Egypt.” I remember going to see it in theaters on Christmas Day, shocked that the movies were even open that day. The film was all the rage in Christian circles – for once, a biblical movie! With real stars doing the voice work, like Val Kilmer and Jeff Goldblum! And Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston performing on the soundtrack!

Our Christian magazine (World) got in on the act, pairing the movie logo with the question “Exodus from Disney?” on its cover. We could only hope that the public would leave Disney for daring to have a Gay Pride Day at the park. Such an outrage! (Confession: I still saw “Hercules” that year.)

Ah, memories. Anyway, I’d forgotten that God’s presence manifested itself in a cloud/pillar of fire when the Israelites leave Egypt in chapters 14, 18 and 19. It seems that every instance where God takes a physical shape has surprised me, because my imagination had hardened around the idea of God being an invisible force.

There’s also this random tale that’s only a couple of verses long in chapter 4 where God meets Moses, decides to kill him (no reason, just felt like it), then changes his mind after Moses’ wife circumcises her son and touches Moses’ feet with the foreskin. So if God ever decides to strike me down, I know what I have to do! I’ve read some pretty out there stuff in Genesis, but this beats them all.


Again, in chapter 19, sex gets special treatment. God’s getting ready to present Moses with the Ten Commandments, but he can’t do that until Moses ropes off Mount Sinai and everyone stops making whoopee for three whole days. It’s hard for me not to mock this situation, and even harder to come up with an explanation for why God can’t be around when folks are getting it on. Really, he’s coming across as a giant prude.

I suppose that's all for now. I plan to keep up with weekly updates until April; hopefully no new crises will erupt between now and then. Until next time, be well!

Genesis 24-50

I’m pleased to report that I’m still having a blast with the reading. The stories are perhaps more entertaining to me now than ever, and I keep uncovering new details in the text that make me think.

Right off the bat in chapter 24 comes the story of how Isaac married Rebekah, and boy, I got a little angry both at the treatment of women and at myself for not noticing how Abraham’s people were hardly more than bride snatchers. See, Abraham tells his chief servant to get Isaac a wife from his old stomping grounds, so when the servant (whose name we never know because even though he’s the main character in the story he’s still just a servant) finds Rebekah and determines she’s the girl his master wants, he slaps bracelets on her arms and puts a ring in her nose without so much as asking her if she wants to come along. Of course, the servant takes the time to ask the girl’s parents if Isaac can have her as a wife, but the only decision Rebekah makes for herself is whether to stick around at home for ten days or leave the next morning for her new life.

I never thought of myself as much of a feminist, but the whole chapter I’m thinking, “Man, this whole situation sucks for Rebekah.” She’s out there, minding her own business when she shows kindness to a stranger and his camels, and just like that she’s out the door for wifehood. Sure, that sort of thing went on all the time – heck, it still goes on in a lot of places – but I value my self-determination so much that when I hear of some unfortunate soul forced into a life not of their choosing, my blood begins to boil. I suppose it’s not as if the servant grabbed her by the hair and carried her off, yet there’s no point where Rebekah explicitly says she’s a fan of the idea.

My reaction to this chapter shows just how much I’ve changed. It’s almost as if there’s a direct relationship between my familiarity with the text and my willingness to accept it. When I last studied Genesis, I read it as the literal and inerrant word of God; now I have to keep my criticism from boiling over into outright disdain.

There are several other small points to make – Isaac’s blessing works more like magic than prayer in chapter 27, Jacob deals with everyone deceitfully, the story of Rachel and Leah (chapter 29) sounds a good deal like a Jack tale (http://www.ibiblio.org/bawdy/folklore/tales.html) – but there’s one point I’d like to dwell on the most: I identify more with Joseph’s brothers than with Joseph.

Quick synopsis: Joseph is the second youngest of Jacob’s 12 sons, but he’s the oldest of Jacob’s favorite wife.  Jacob openly treats child #11 as the favorite son, which naturally irritates all the older sons. Throw in some bragging and a special coat, and you’ve got one pretty testy sibling rivalry that results in the gang of ten selling their brother to slave traders and telling dad little Joey is dead.

Once upon a time, I felt like a lot like Joseph: Praised, favored, and ready to take on the world. I had adults telling me I ought to be a lawyer, a preacher or even president. No matter what I chose to do with my life, God would do great things through me. I hope I wasn’t as big a brat as Joseph, who lorded it over his brothers…

Fast-forward to the present day: I’ve been floundering for the past several years, trying to forge a path to secure employment and financial independence. Multiple attempts at college have ended in disappointment. I look around and see friends making lives for themselves with homes and families, and I feel my heart clench with the same jealousy that must have seized those ten brothers. Thankfully, I’m still pretty good at managing my emotions, so I doubt I’ll be throwing anyone into a pit. Instead, I have to find a way to keep plugging along, mourn the past and prepare for the future.

Well, that’s enough of a pity party for now. One last thought: In chapter 41, God warns Pharaoh that seven years of plenty will precede seven years of famine, so Joseph suggests that Egypt save up during the time of prosperity. I’ve often thought of the lesson during the US budget wars – if only we’d saved up during the time of plenty!

It’s a shame I can’t go into as much detail as I’d like; otherwise I’d have monumental posts, and I’d rather not overwhelm you with analysis of minutiae – but if you’d like to hear more, say the word and I can lay down some serious script.

Take care, and sooner or later I'll get on track with posts on Fridays...

Genesis 1-23

Whoa! It’s Tuesday, so I’m four days late with my first entry… Hmmm, definitely need to improve my time management skills…

In this first section, there’s quite a lot to take in – both in my own history and in the text. Creation, the Fall, Noah, Babel, Abraham… there’s no shortage of good stories. Opening my Bible for the first time in so many years was very much like visiting an old friend or stumbling across a long-lost trinket in the attic. The joy is two-fold, of discovery and of memory. How odd that I should find myself smiling at words and phrases like “Masoretic Text,” “Hittites,” and “covenant!” I didn’t realize how greatly I had missed the little italicized letters marking footnotes, or the familiar cadence of genealogies.

Ironically, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to read the Bible – with the possible exception of when I was quizzing. Oh, and that reminds me: I’m working on a spiritual autobiography which I plan to post next week before I finish Genesis. Anyway, I read through this week’s assignment in just under two days, just cruising along and jotting down thoughts. It’s a real pleasure, and I’m already convinced this project is one of my best ideas ever. I just hope you folks out there in Internet Land have a good time, too.

Early on, there are so many little details I had forgotten that puzzle me today, like plants growing on Day 3 while the sun comes along on Day 4. The creation account seems more akin to a fairy tale than a historical account. I can’t help but be reminded of modern-day storytelling, which my stepdad has introduced to me since I last read the Bible (Check out http://www.storytellingcenter.net/festival/ as a starting place if you don’t know what I’m talking about; there are some great performers out there!).

God seems so, well, human. He walks in the Garden of Eden, he “comes down” to see the city of Babel, and appears as three men to Abraham. Ten years ago I thought God was fantastic and majestic; now he seems nearly as petty as the gods of the Greeks or Romans. I’m reminded of when I found out that certain people I esteemed had skeletons in their closets.

I’m also struck by the importance of modesty in the first few chapters. The narrator takes pains to point out that Adam and Eve felt no shame in their nakedness before sinning; in fact, he (and I’m pretty sure he’s a man) tells us the first humans were embarrassed about their nakedness but not about disobeying God after they eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge. It all sounds a little weird to me now, because it implies there’s something inherently wrong with nudity – even when it’s just two people who are ostensibly married. To me, when two people are naked together, it’s an expression of trust, comfort, and of course pleasure. Why should Adam and Eve care about their clothing situation if the temperature hasn’t changed? Nobody new has entered the garden, right? My 18 year old self reminds me that the shame of nakedness is supposed to signal that something has gone wrong in the world. Today that logic sounds a bit contrived.

There’s also Noah, who gets drunk after the Flood and passes out naked in his tent. Two of his sons, Shem and Japheth, take the trouble to walk backwards so they can drag a covering over their dad. When the patriarch comes to, he heaps blessings on these two sons while cursing out the third son, Ham, who had seen his dad and told the other sons. The whole thing seems like an overreaction. Maybe it was just a really bad hangover…

Reading the story of the Flood stirred up a memory of an animated video series my family used to watch over twenty years ago, with Noah looking up at the sky and saying, “My eyes are not what they used to be.” All I could remember was that the title had ‘adventure’ in it, and one of the characters was called Moki. Thanks to the internet, I found it! Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd2WbC5kK1Y

I could spend a whole entry just on these videos! I’d nearly forgotten them, but once I started watching, it felt like I could recite the dialogue and hum the tunes. It makes me wonder just how many other memories are tucked away in my head, waiting to be uncovered.

Moving on, in chapter 19 we have the famous destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Instead of dwelling on the homosexual aspects of the story, I’d like to note how riveting the tale is. The angels are rushing out Abraham’s nephew Lot, all but shouting, “GET TO ZEH CHOPPA! DO IT NAAOOOOWWW!” At least, that’s how I read it (apologies for my attempt to transliterate Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Also, I knew Isaac’s birth was miraculous, but I only just now figured out that God would have needed to supply Sarah the egg, since, you know, she was 90. I suppose I didn’t learn about menopause until after I’d drilled Genesis into my head.

When I reached the tale of Abraham’s test, I found something curious there, too.  After God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, the very son he waited decades to get, father and son plus some servants go on a journey that lasts three days! That’s a long time to think about killing your son – and still go through with it.

Well, I guess that’s all for now. Hope you enjoyed this first foray into memory and textual analysis! If I made a mistake or you have a question, please let me know; otherwise, I’ll see you all on Saturday, when I finish up Genesis.

Let's Get Started!

Welcome to this ambitious project of mine, where I will read the entire Bible in the course of a year and record my thoughts and musings weekly. I’m pretty excited about this idea; I've been kicking it around for months, and any time I act on a cool idea it makes me feel like there’s hope for me after all. I got the idea when I picked up my old Bible while moving to a new apartment and realized it’d been 10 years since I read the whole thing. That got me thinking: How would I react to the Bible now? Even though I’m a very different person, revisiting these pages will be much like revisiting an old friend, and that’s another reason I’m looking forward to this project. Also, it’s been a long time since I blogged on a regular basis, but I figured this project would help me stay engaged, while at the same time the blog would help me stick with the reading – especially while I’m plowing through the more tedious sections (I’m looking at you, Leviticus).

Now for some ground rules: I am an atheist, but I’m not here to convert/lead astray anyone, only to share my thoughts and feelings. Therefore, I’d appreciate it if you’d take the same approach when commenting.

For example, when I read Genesis, I’ll probably think something along the lines of, “Man, I can’t believe I used to believe the world was made in six days!” I may share memories of church or youth group, maybe bring up a book I read once on creationism. But should I decide to write about that, I won’t go into detail on the science or throw a huge rant calling creationists stupid. If I do, you’re welcome to call me out on it. I very much want to stay on the theme of “That was then, this is now” as it applies to my relationship with the Bible. Fellow atheists are welcome to chime in with something in the same vein so long as they stay away from argument and name-calling, and Christians are also welcome to bring up their own experiences with the passage I’m documenting at that time. If I need to clarify something or make factual errors, please let me know. I’m also open to suggestions; I really want this to go smoothly and for everyone who comes across this blog to enjoy themselves and keep coming back.

I’m afraid I won’t be able to engage in much conversation via the comments because, for those of you who may not know, the Bible is a really big book. That means I’ll have to stay focused on reading if I want any chance of completing this project before February 2014. I’ve even taken the time to draw up a schedule so I can knock out the biggest assignment I’ve ever given myself in just a year. Updates will be on Fridays; I’m going to do my best to treat this like a real blog and not let it slide.

Well, I think that about covers it. I’m working on a spiritual biography, so be sure to check that out in the next few days. And with that, I’ll see you all with my first entry on Genesis on Friday!